Forever
by xxPunkRockxx
Summary: Even if he was not there, it felt like he was, and that was good enough for her.


**- Forever -**

_"There's no other way. I pray to the gods, let him stay._

_The memories ease the pain inside, now I know why."_

- Within Temptation -

* * *

It had been years now since his death, and yet the pain was still fresh. The moment she had found out that he'd been killed, an overwhelming sense of despair washed over her, followed by a rush of cold tears.

In all these years, she had never once been to his grave site. Not that he was buried there, of course; his body no longer existed, and maybe it was better that way. Then again, maybe she would have felt more at peace being able to see him again and say a proper goodbye, even if he couldn't hear her.

It was gloomy in the graveyard, standing before a headstone with four names engraved on it. When he was alive, he'd told her about his family, how they'd been killed years before. Now he too was gone, leaving behind the last living member of his family to be his successor.

For a moment, her vision blurred and she found herself in the midst of a hazy flashback, staring at the screen in front of her while an artificial voice cried desperately.

_Lockon...Lockon...Lockon..._

Some days when she spoke to the small robot, she found herself caught up in the sound of his voice, found herself remembering that horrific moment. Realizing that any efforts you could put in to save someone were futile, seeing as they were already gone.

She doubted he was a fan of flowers in particular, if at all, but she set a single lily down on his grave along with a letter she had written him - a new one, not the one she had left in his gundam following the unfortunate event that took him from them.

_I'm sorry. _She found herself mentally apologizing to him, as if his death was her fault, or there was more she could have done for him. Standing still for a moment, she held her composure, and then abruptly fell apart.

She was standing before the headstone with his name carved in it, face pressed into her hands, sobbing. Even if he had never known it, he had meant a lot to her, and losing him broke her heart. Regardless of if she took interest in anyone else, there was still a fragment that could never be put back together within her after losing him.

_Why? Why did it have to be **you**?_

It was hopeless to fight the tears falling freely from her eyes. At this point she was shaking, tears cold once again from the breeze blowing through the field full of headstones.

_I wish you knew, at any rate. Even if you would have never felt the same..._

_I wish I could have said goodbye to you._

The pain was overwhelming, and she was at a loss of how to go about handling it. That man had comforted her when she was in pain, and now her pain was caused inadvertently because of him.

_I miss you._

Her arms had wrapped around herself, the only condolence she really had standing alone in a graveyard she had never seen prior to that day. Her tears kept running mercilessly, ruining her struggle to stop her sobs.

After a good ten minutes or so, the pain had abruptly eased; something had changed in the air, and the pain had minimized, borderline vanished. It was possible that it was only a momentary comfort, but she would readily accept it.

For some reason, it felt like he was there. Maybe that was nothing more than wishful thinking, but it felt as if he were standing there, his hand on her head once again. As if he were telling her it would be alright, with or without him.

Absentmindedly she reached up and touched her head, feeling nothing but her own hair. Still, the feeling had yet to disappear, and it was rather comforting.

_Thank you..._

Standing there now, she felt a sense of comfort rather than anguish. Even if he was not there, it felt like he was, and that was good enough for her.

* * *

**Was listening to the song at the beginning of the fic and got inspired to write this.**

**Lockon's death broke my heart, and I'm assuming Feldt's, too.  
**

**Of all the characters in that series, he _had _to be one of the ones that died -sigh-.  
**

**Reviews?  
**


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